SHE SAID WHAT?!
Posted By Wendy
Alright, let me be real for a second. Logically, rationally, I know that we live in a different world than in the chivalrous days of the past. For that, I am mostly grateful. I don’t want to be considered weak, fragile, gentle…someone who needs protecting. I got that shit covered. I am glad for the progress that has been made in the name of feminism, and I consider myself a proud feminist who will consistently, and sometimes doggedly, fight for the rights of women everywhere. The right to equal pay. The right to equal positions of power in the business and political world. The right to birth control and fair family planning.
While these large battles rage on, however, small “advances,” if you’d like to call them that, have been made in the dating world. It’s no longer a man’s game. The woman might ask the man out. The woman might get the digits, or sleep with the man on the first date and not call him back. And, more and more, the women are splitting the check. All good, right?
I’m down with most of those lame-o dating rules being broken, but there’s one time I think an old rule is worth keeping, and that’s on the first date. Call me crazy, but I still think the guy should pay. Do I have a legitimate feminist reason for this? No. I just think it’s common courtesy. If a man asks me out, suggests a place to go for dinner, and then asks for separate checks, I’m going to be turned off. And look, this is completely unfair, but even if I’m the one who asks the guy out, I’m still going to be disappointed if he doesn’t at least offer to pony up on date number 1.
Is it a deal-breaker? No. If he is an awesome guy and we have a great date, then I won’t shut him down for date number 2 if he asks if we can go Dutch. But little synapses will be firing off in my brain warning of this being some indication of his personality as a whole. Is he cheap? Super budget-conscious to the degree of constricting? Does he not appreciate women? If all goes well on the second date, then it’s likely that anxiety will melt away. But, if I may take you on a trip inside a woman’s head for a second, that little memory will be tucked away for God knows how long, and three years down the line, if something in the relationship fails, a woman may bust out the “he didn’t pay on the first date” memory and use it as a cautionary tale for all future dates. Yup. It’s mental, but it’s the straight truth.
At the end of the day, paying on the first date is a nice gesture. It’s a way to show someone a little generosity of spirit. It helps to tell a woman that you value her (though if you don’t have respect for women, then paying on the first date won’t do jack). Men, do yourselves a favor, just suck it up and pay the first time. If things work out and you end up in a relationship, a good woman will happily treat you to dinner herself many more times to come.
HE SAID WHAT?!
Posted By Alex
You know how if a man sleeps around, he’s a playa? And If a woman sleeps around, she’s a whore? That rule sucks, right? Right, because it’s completely unfair. As is paying for God knows how many fucking first dates with nothing to show for it besides impressing some random woman. Um, no.
Personally, I don’t mind paying for the first date but the problem here is that women take advantage of it, just as guys do of sleeping around. I can’t count the number of times I’ve paid for the first date only to find out I was dead on arrival. She was never into me and here I am, stuck picking up the tab. Fuck that. I’ve been there way too many times and it sucks every time.
I’ve been a good guy most of my life. Never treated women poorly and always minded my dating manners. I’m not patting myself on the back here because all men should treat women properly. It should be the default. The problem therein lies with women who see this trait in the guy and decide to exploit it. I don’t mind opening doors for you because it costs me nothing, but why can’t you at least meet me halfway and go Dutch? It’s as fair as it gets. Women shouldn’t look down on men for offering to go Dutch, just as men shouldn’t look down on women who sleep around.
I say it’s high time we change some of these preconceptions.
-Men and women who sleep around should both be referred to as whores and playas. Yes, together.
-Go Dutch on the first date.
-If you like each other, don’t wait three fucking days to call.
-Giving it up on the first date could mean three different things:
a) You’re both whores.
b) You’re both playas.
c) The two of you might be Batman.
d) You are both really into each other. (haha, wut)
-Don’t be an asshole.
The day women finally put their foot down and decided that all these ridiculous rules were not copacetic is also the same day most men realized they shouldn’t have to pay for the first date. Moving forward sometimes has its drawbacks but at least now you aren’t considered half of a person (which, when you think about it, what the hell is wrong with most men? I was going to go with “wrong with men back then?” but have you seen some of the shit that men continue to say about women now? It’s mind boggling.)
Ultimately, going Dutch is fair and nothing is more important than that. Just because something is a rule doesn’t make it the law.